Girl: So, how many times a day do you shave?

Man: Well, about 15-20 times every day.

Girl: My god, are you some kind of crazy?

Man: No, I’m a barber.

Doctor: "I'm sorry but you suffer from a terminal illness and have only 10 to live."

Patient: "What do you mean, 10? 10 what? Months? Weeks?!"

Doctor: "Nine."

Employee : Sir I have not linked my salary account to Aadhar

but I still got the gas subsidy...

HR : That's not the gas subsidy dear....

it's your increment this year !!

Rs. 168.50/-

Beta- Papa, aap jaise mujhe marte ho, vaise dadaji bhi apko marte the kya?
Papa- Bilkul marte the
Beta- Toh yeh khandani gundagardi kab tak chalegi

Baahubali ki hatya Dekhkar Bhaybheet hua baalak, bola,
"chhuttiyon mein nahin jaoonga Maama ke ghar"!

Bank mein 1 bhi rupaya jama nahin kiya.
Phir bhi Income Tax Department se notice aaya,
Likha tha,"Kuchh to Kama Besharm"!

kuchh sabji vaale to Gali mein aate hi chillae kar aavaaj
lagaate hai ki..."Hai koi Mai ka Laal jo Kharide Tamaatar Laal."

Yamraaj: Eske karmon ka hisaab batao
Chitragupt: achchhe karm hain.
Yamraaj: Swarg bhejo
Chittagupt: Lekin eska Aadhaar Card Link nahin hua.
Yamraaj: Narak mein bhejo esko

Doctor: "I'm sorry but you suffer from a terminal illness and have only 10 to live."

Patient: "What do you mean, 10? 10 what? Months? Weeks?!"

Doctor: "Nine."

What is the chemical formula 4 water?
SANTA: HIJKLMNO.
Teacher: wht r u talking abt?
SANTA:Yesterday u said H to O.